


The Weirdness That You Know

by The_Mouse_of_Anon



Series: Bluepulse Week (in the OT3) [5]
Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Bart and Khaji Da have the same sense of humor, Day 5: Season 3, I feel sorry for Jaime, Jaime finds out that watching Disney probably wasn't the best idea, Multi, bluepulse week 2016, loads of pre-relationship awkwardness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-28
Updated: 2016-11-28
Packaged: 2018-09-02 19:32:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8680645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Mouse_of_Anon/pseuds/The_Mouse_of_Anon
Summary: (Or why watching movies with a scarab and a speedster is probably a bad idea.)There are many things that Jaime never would have expected when he became a hero. But finding out that the scarab attached to his spine and one of his closest friends, a speedster from the (now alternate) future, had the same sense of humor? That had to take the cake.((Written for Day 5 of Bluepulse Week 2016.))





	

**Author's Note:**

> I know it's taken me forever to get to putting up the rest of my Bluepulse Week fics here on Ao3 (oh the joys of having too much schoolwork and not enough time to do it in), but I'm slowly getting it done. Just two more, and then seven Aqua Fan Week fics!
> 
> (For anyone who doesn't want to wait, you can read the fics I haven't yet posted here: http://fire-fira.tumblr.com/tagged/my-fiction)
> 
> Also, being that this is supposed to take place in season 3 (which amazingly enough is actually happening), I placed it fairly early on; so at the time of this fic no one knows Khaji Da's name yet. Furthermore this is very thoroughly _pre_ -bluepulse OT3 because while I love the poly-triad to pieces, Bart at 14 is way too young for Jaime at 17 (thus why I usually stick with them just starting to date when Bart is 16). And Khaji Da... Well technically he's so insanely old that if he stuck by age considerations he'd never end up in a relationship with anyone. Anyway!
> 
> Enjoy! n.n

[ _Flash grenade?_ ]

“No.”

[ _Taser?_ ]

“No.”

[ _Serrated claws?_ ]

“Why would you even think of that? _No_.”

[ _Explosives?_ ]

“Absolutely _not_.”

[ _High-grade sonic blasts._ ]

Jaime gave a sigh. He had a feeling that if he asked the scarab to explain, he was going to regret it. That said, it wasn’t exactly like he had a whole lot to do while he was parked in the team’s current on-the-ground base— oh, the hazards of having a situation where he needed to be on-call at a moment’s notice— so humoring the scarab’s desire to know what weapons might or might not be acceptable wasn’t _too_ much of an imposition. That was why he was currently sprawled on his bed, staring at the ceiling and listening to a long list of suggestions that really made him doubt the scarab’s claims that he wasn’t ‘planning on murdering’ anyone. 

“Do I even want to know what you mean by that?” he finally asked. “We’ve already got the sonic cannon.”

[ _Loud enough and at the correct frequency to induce temporary deafness,_ the scarab said in a somewhat smug tone. The fact that the scarab had been getting more expressive of late was a little weird, but not a bad thing.

“And the possibility of serious hearing loss?”

[ _…Negligible._ ] Somehow Jaime didn’t believe that.

“And what the heck is your definition of ‘negligible’ ese? Because last I checked your definition and _my_ definition were pretty different.”

[ _Within tolerable parameters,_ ] the scarab hedged.

“…Are you _seriously_ trying to get around telling me the truth just so you can _break stuff_?” Jaime knew that the scarab had a destructive streak, but this was ridiculous. For an alien AI that was thousands of years old the scarab had picked up the tendency toward some very ‘young’ impulses. Then again, since the whole incident with the Reach the scarab had relaxed considerably. Well, at least inasmuch as the scarab could be considered ‘relaxed’.

An odd drumming sensation emanated from between Jaime’s shoulder-blades for a moment or two before the scarab said (without really answering), [ _Is that a ‘no’?_ ]

“Maybe I’ll consider it if you actually tell me the sort of damage it could cause.”

[ _…Understood. Another ‘no’._ ]

Jaime facepalmed. “You are so _weird_ sometimes.”

[ _Quote: ‘weird is relative’._ ]

Jaime sat up and glanced back over his shoulder in pure disbelief. “Did you _seriously_ just quote Bart at me? _Seriously_?”

[ _Affirmative._ ]

Okay, it was official. The scarab was in a weird mood. Shaking his head, Jaime got off the bed and headed for the living room area. If the scarab felt like being weird then Jaime was going to seek out other company so the scarab would tone it down for a while.

And of course, as soon as he walked into the living room, that was where he found Bart. It wasn’t that Jaime minded Bart’s company by any means— they’d gotten to be pretty good friends actually— but Bart had been being weird of late too. It wasn’t that he was being weird in a bad way, it was just that… well… Ever since Bart had come clean about why he’d come to the past (and after everything with the Reach was done and over with) the speedster had taken to flirting at Jaime. Some of his flirting was blatant, some of it was subtle, and most of the time Jaime was pretty certain that Bart didn’t even realize he was doing it. Whether he realized he was doing it or not, there was no hiding the fact that Bart had a _huge_ crush on Jaime. Jaime didn’t know quite how to feel about that, but he knew he wasn’t as bothered by it as he probably should be.

“Hey Blue!” Bart greeted exuberantly from the couch. “Didn’t realize you were here. Wanna watch a movie or something? ‘Cause right now there is _nothing_ to do, it’sdrivingmenutstobehonest, and I am _soooo_ bored!”

Jaime tried not to laugh. While there was no denying that Bart was still rattled by the loss of Wally, it was hard for the speedster to maintain that level of misery for an extended period of time. He’d been through too much to let himself wallow in that pain for long, even if it would randomly hit him from time to time. “Couldn’t find anything to keep yourself entertained with, huh?”

“Nope. I would’ve gone for a run but _some_ people insist that being ‘on call’ means having to stay here until I’m needed,” Bart said, making a face afterward. His disagreement with Aqualad and Nightwing over the definition of ‘being on call’ was one that had just about been run into the ground.

Jaime was definitely _not_ thinking about how cute Bart looked in that brief moment. Nope. No way, no how. Ignoring the thoughts that he _definitely_ wasn’t thinking, Jaime walked around to the other side of the couch and flopped into the seat. “Any idea what you want to see then?”

Bart made another one of those— _not cute, NOT CUTE_ — faces before saying, “Not… really? I mean, reading the descriptions on Netflix give _some_ idea, but… you know… future boy. Not exactly sure what’s actually good and what’s trash. No real TV or movies in the future. That future. Whatever.”

“Disney’s always a good go-to,” Jaime offered.

“Heard a bunch of it is seriously problematic.”

Jaime shrugged. “Yeah, but it’s Disney. You can enjoy something and not like everything about it.”

“Alright great guru of movies, show me your wisdom,” Bart laughed while motioning to the large TV in front of them.

Jaime grabbed the remote and started flipping through. If he was going to go the Disney-route then he definitely didn’t want to choose something that would have Bart groaning about it the entire way through or have the scarab complaining about how something didn’t make sense because ‘that does not obey the law of physics’. Cinderella was right out, especially considering the scarab’s commentary the last time he’d seen it. So maybe… he paused on Lilo & Stitch; for some reason he had a sense of impending doom. “This one is pretty good.”

The moment Bart processed the screen-shots that popped up with the description, he grinned. “Is that supposed to be a _blue alien_?” he asked while directing a pointed look to Jaime.

“That’s not why I’m picking it,” Jaime said.

“Suuuure.”

[ _Explosions._ ]

Jaime just barely held back an aggravated groan at the scarab’s comment. Of _course_ the scarab would comment in favor of a movie that involved explosions. [ _You seriously need to chill. Not everything has to be about explosions._ ]

[ _…It is more satisfying._ ]

[ _No it’s not._ ]

[ _...The Impulse would agree with me._ ]

Jaime had to scoff at that. There was no point in correcting the name the scarab had used, the scarab was stubborn when it came to referring to Bart as ‘Impulse’ regardless of the fact that the speedster had been Kid Flash for a while now. Jaime had no idea why the scarab was so persistent on that count, but he did know that the scarab seemed weirdly fond of Bart. The noise Jaime made had the unintended effect of drawing a curious look from Bart, which left Jaime feeling like he wanted to bury himself in a hole. He hadn’t exactly been open about the scarab and his personality (in fact as far as most of the others knew the scarab was just a piece of tech that offered really violent recommendations), but Jaime had a sneaking suspicion that he could be honest with Bart without the scarab losing his mind.

In answer to Bart’s unspoken question, Jaime said as he jerked a thumb over his shoulder, “Sorry. Comments from _el escarabajo_ over here.”

Bart’s eyebrows shot up. He looked slightly wary, not that Jaime blamed him, but there was also some curiosity. “…What did the scarab say?”

Jaime considered not answering that. His life was weird enough with a paranoid scarab attached to his spine who seemed to be developing a warped sense of humor; explaining some of that weirdness to someone else just felt awkward. Even so… the scarab didn’t seem to be bothered by the idea of Jaime talking about him to _Bart_ of all people. It was _weird_. “He voted for Lilo  & Stitch because of the explosions. He said you’d agree with him.”

Bart’s eyes widened with surprise before a smile began to creep onto his face. He was obviously trying not to laugh and having a really hard time of it. “There are explosions?”

“ _Sí_.”

“And the scarab seriously suggested it and tried to convince you by saying that I’d agree because of the explosions?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s _hilarious_. Why the heck would the scarab be interested in Disney?”

Jaime shrugged. “I think he has a pretty weird sense of humor. I mean, I didn’t originally think he had a sense of humor, but well… I was watching The Little Mermaid last week with my sister and he was commenting the entire way through.”

Bart paused for a second, trying to remember if he’d seen that one, and— “Oh yeah! The one with the girl with the fish tail and the crab that nearly gets killed in the kitchen on the boat by the insane chef!”

“That’s the one,” Jaime agreed.

“That scene with the crab in the kitchen was _so crash_. I don’t think I laughed that hard in a while.”

Jaime facepalmed as a vague sense of smug satisfaction emanated from the scarab. “You just picked out his favorite scene from that.”

Bart was definitely laughing now. “ _That’s_ his favorite scene?”

“Yeah. He was really morbid about it too.”

“…Was he yelling at the chef to kill the crab? Because I was totally yelling at the chef to kill the crab.”

Jaime looked up at Bart in disbelief. Was his friend, this kid, his cru— _‘No. Not crush. NOT crush. I am NOT crushing on a 13-year-old!’_ — admitting to having the same sense of humor as the scarab attached to his spine? This was getting too damned weird. Hitting the button on the remote to select the movie, Jaime replied with, “How about we just watch the movie?”

“Should I take that as a yes?” Bart asked while playfully waggling his eyebrows— and _no_ Jaime _was not_ thinking about how flirtatious that made Bart look. He was _not_. There was NO WAY. IN HELL. That Jaime. Was perving on someone who was _thirteen_.

[ _He is fourteen,_ ] the scarab said unhelpfully.

[ _Stop. Helping._ ]

[ _…The crab should have died._ ]

“ _Ay dios mio_ , scarab STOP. I get it!” Jaime complained.

Bart was definitely amused. “So that _is_ a yes.”

[ _Perhaps boiled._ ]

“If I say ‘yes’ will both of you _stop_ so we can just watch the movie?!”

The speedster was cackling as the movie started. “Okay, okay Blue. I promise not to be a pain.” 

Jaime had a feeling he was going to regret the movie they’d chosen if the fact that a moment later Bart and the scarab said the same word simultaneously was anything to judge by.

[“ _Much._ ”]

“…You two are going to kill me.”


End file.
